Love and Marriage..

For all you guys ready to get married... This is good stuff!!

A relationship coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding. If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married, they’ll say: “We’re in love.” I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.
Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there’s a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you’re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important?
Let me put it this way:
If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful.
You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life ? bottom line - and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust! i.e. trust that I won’t get “punished” or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:
Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.
How can you test? Here are some suggestions.
i) Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
ii) Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as “someone who is always striving
to be good and do the right thing”.
“So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?”
Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give.
By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following:
i) How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?
ii) How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
Do they show respect? If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they’ll have gratitude for you ? who can’t do nearly as much for them!
iii) Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to “improve” them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts it, “You can probably expect someone to change
after marriage … for the worse!”
If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you aren’t ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself in trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

India thro' Chinese eyes - 2

I told you I would get better!!

India Thro' Chinese eyes!!

The first video is shot by a Chinese student at IIM Indore (part of the 2007 students' exchange program at IIMI)... The first half is on India and the second half on IIM Indore. Enjoy!!

PS: My crude attempt at embedding flash videos here... I shall get better!

Pleasures...

Hah!! The pleasures of reading a book.... a goood book at that... and finishing it!! yeah... I finished my book.... but then, dont worry, I would read it again and again and again and keep up the promise of reading it for the next 10 yrs ;-)
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Ready to backpack? I just discovered a group of backpackers in Blore... And they are planning for a trip to Pondicherry on Aug 17th night (Back by 19th night)... Interested?
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1, 2, 3, ....... Does that count?
Yeah! Stand up and be counted!!

Thats kinda the message my friend from IIT days is helping spread among the working class of Hyderabad... He is working with some NGOs... organizations that are working on transforming the grass-roots level politics.

His vision is "To create the demand for efficient and honest politicians". When there is a demand, supply would follow.. The problem is not the lack of supply of honest and efficient politicians... but the demand for it...

He has been touring various places and colleges recently and engaging the working class in conversations... getting them involved in various ways in the mainstream Indian life.. getting them to stand up and be counted.

He has been participating in various forums and public speeches. Sometime, I shall get hold of his speech and post it here...

This is just my 2 paisa in acknowledging his commitment.

Some things and a story...

There have been so many people asking me to marry... the greatest of them are my parents ;-) (well... there are others proposing to me.. but then I'm not talking about them now) even the other day, someone very close to me (and whose opinion I value) told me to 'get into a relationship soon'... But, I tell them... life begins at 30.. let me enjoy my life for a couple of years at least! This is the era of 'Kum Chini and Jyada Umar' what say?!
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As you know, I am reading (and would continue reading it for the next ten years ;) 'The Alchemy of Desire' by Tarun Tejpal. And I have also read the 'God of Small Things' by Arundhati Roy earlier. I definitely like both the books (actually 'liked' the latter, 'cos I dont remember much of it now), but I think the former is making quite an impression on me.

May be, for me, the affectation of the body takes precedence over the genuflections at the altar of the soul. I can understand the language of desire and love better than the language of God and concubine (twins) USP..

I am still far away from writing my comments/review on this one... But, I just want to say....

Having loved and lost is better than not having loved at all.. (Though one does run the risk of turning into the eternal 'safe' devadas) After you overcome the lingering bad taste of lost love, you would realize that love tastes different yet sweet the next time again.

"He and Fiza were so perfect together.. They longed for each other in the most animalistic way... Even an accidental touch could ignite a spark (and the ensuing climb up the peak)... Yet, all of that dissipated... dissolved with the arrival of Catherine... who, BTW, was not even 'real'... she was only in the form of her 'tan leather bound' notebooks..."

Even the search for love is another search for 'neatness' - a perfection that you seem to be lacking yourself... It is that neatness combined with the unknown.. the mystic.. the sensual...... Its all just MAYA!! ;-)

I liked this quote... though I might be quoting it out-of-context...."Monogamy is difficult to sustain without the lubrications of Love"!!

Conquer!!

He Came; He Saw; He Conquered....

Aap Ka Surroor!!

They Came; They Saw; They Ran Away!!!!!!!

The Audience ;-) :P

Bangalore Bloggers...

We have another Blore bloggers meet tomorrow.... at BrewHaHa (Near Jyoti Nivas College, Koramangala) between 11am and 2pm. By the sounds of it, seems like a big event...

Shall let you know if I get there in time...

Hogenakkal - Smokin' Rocks

Took a break from all the humdrum... Went to Hogenakkal with my cousins on saturday. What more, we went coracling, got special oil massages and spent almost 2 hours in the water just metres from the gorgeous smokin' waterfalls (quite safely behind the rocks!).




















Its one of those perfect weekend getaways for people in Bangalore. It is about 175 kms, a distance that can be comfortably covered in 4 hours. The route is Blore - Hosur - Royakotta (deviation at hosur) - Pallankode (right turn within 2 kms of the village) - Pennagaram - Hogenakkal.

Roads are good for most part, except for a 7-10 km stretch. Just call up these guys -- Babu, the Masseur (first from the left) - 9443615072 and Muthu (Second from left) /Chandran (not in pic)- the Coracle guys - 9443637950 ; Arrange your package deal for the getaway!

SMS to support the fight ..

SMS to support the fight against poverty...

"Handbag - 32 Pounds; Food for a week - 4 Pounds"
Text AID to ####; Donate 1.50 Pounds

This is what I was talking about.... It seems this has been implemented in the UK already... Lets have this in India too...

Chini Kum or Jyada?

Hind - Chini bhai bhai

This is a phrase that gained popularity during the Nehruvian era. And then, the Chinese made a fool of Nehru by taking over Indian territories and crushing us in the 1962 war (and after taking over all the territories they wanted, they declared unilateral ceasefire!!)

And then, there has been many instances of the Chini masterful tactics...

Off late, you would have heard about the Chinese stockpiling US government securities to the tune of $200-$400 billion(estimated)... No wonder they have some 'real' power against the US.

With all this, I am sure they are not sitting quietly and applauding the Indian IT & BPO boom.

All this is making me think: what could be their sinister/strategic plan now?

Are they buying our IT stocks??

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BTW, did the Great wall make it to the New 7 wonders?

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Looks like it has... hmm.. Chini too have their share of ... idiots ?!

Vote for the 8th Wonder!!

> > > Hey,
> > >
> > > Vote now for the Taj Mahal to ensure it makes
> it into the New 7 wonders of the World list.
> > >

What all crap these people come up with... New 7 wonders.. And then Ultra New 7 wonders....

I should actually campaign for the new 8th wonder... Now, are you wondering what that is? Its a scheme... a Ponzi-scheme to eradicate poverty.... you send 10 SMSes to vote for Taj... And send one SMS to a hungry child! (better the other way!!) The mobile operator should donate the money to the hungry child.

Vote for the 8th Wonder.. Vote against poverty!!

What say?

Bhaskar

we looovvvvve Rakhi!!

Here is my theory on 'why we love Rakhi'... She portrays one of the worse side of ourselves (she does it so well).. and she does it so self-righteously... I mean.. she believes in what she is doing... atleast it seems so!

And then, on a passing note, let me mention... her assets remind us of the good ol' days of Pam & Anna ;-)

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Whats with Rahul Bose these days??! Man, he is turning 40, it seems... And he's still a worthy bachelor... Thank God for such people!!

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For some news on the iPhone, check my other blog ;-)

Light!

WOndering where I am??

I am just about here... been a li'l busy at work.. but I can see light at the end of the tunnel... Could it be that of the approaching train?!

;-)
Bhaskar

Funny Elephant!!

Newton's fourth law of motion!!!

I love this solution

Just 'Like' That! ;-)

Nowadays, I seem to like British women to American! For one, I just love their english and the accent (and probably tired of hearing the american accent(s)). For another, the GB Pound is getting stronger than the US Dollar.. so, it makes better economic sense to like and marry a British (now who's talking of marrying?!)
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Keira is cute!! Drew with a British accent would be cuter ;-)
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There are some things I want to do in India and some others abroad. For example, I want to trek to the Himalayas, perhaps do that Manasarovar Trek. And the white water rafting in the Ganges. On the other shore, I wanna do sky diving and learn flying an aeroplane.

On Your Own

Have been speaking to some people, entrepreneurs and wannabe entrepreneurs... And this thought has been getting louder and louder in my mind... that, if I want to start some venture, its gotta be now!

Time seems right for such things... India is in a flux, poised for bigger things. And there are quite some holes/gaps... offering us the opportunity to fill them.

At the same time, there are lucrative opportunities (at work) in the US that are falling in place... Got my H1B visa and all that... And looking at end-2007 or early-2008 time frame to move.

I dont know what I am going to do...
Neither seems like the road less taken..
But, either way, miles to go before I sleep!!

Quiz Time

You are driving to work on a busy monday morning. What would you do if you see your high school flame waiting to cross the road?

Options
a. Drive-by humming your fav song
b. Stop the car, make faces at her and proceed on your way
c. Stop the car and offer her a lift
d. Bang into her and take her to the hospital
e. Others __________________(pls specify!)

Courtesy

Orkut:

Today's fortune:
Your luck has been completely changed today

What the hell is that supposed to mean?!?!?
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Tarun Tejpal in 'the Alchemy of Desire':

...Sobers real name was Arnab Dasgupta. But in college he had been named after the great cricketer Gary Sobers.

In our freshers' cricket match he had announced himself as an all-rounder. He was short and stocky and distressingly confident. He said he was a leg-spinner and after ten overs of medium pace our captain threw him the ball.

The over went down in hostel history. It lasted seventeen deliveries, as Arnab failed to drop the ball anywhere on the matting. The first ball actually flew off his hand to hit the square-leg umpire. Finally he was encouraged to bowl underarm and finish the over. Later he went in to bat wearing one leg-guard. He turned his back to the first ball he faced and the ball got lodged in his fat buttocks. For a moment no one knew where the ball had gone. Then it fell out with a plop.

Outside the boundary our captain looked at me and said, Chutiya, where did you find this Gary Sobers?

:D :P

Life and times...

Am getting busy at work these days... and the off-work times even busier! What with the rains increasing all the commuting times... and the traffic in blore not getting any lesser inspite of the rain...

I got some new movies like the 'Last King of Scotland', 'Music & Lyrics', 'Othello', 'Border Town', 'The Hills have eyes 2', 'Unfaithful', 'Runaway Bride', '300', 'The Contract', 'The Pursuit of Happyness',..... And my books 'The Alchemy of Desire' and 'Namesake' are also waiting for my time. There also some new movies I like to catch 'Cheeni Kum', 'Shootout at Lokhandwala', 'Pirates of the Carribean 3', 'Shivaji..the Boss'. But then, I have some friends to meet and parties to attend :-)

Concrete Gardens!

Last weekend, you know I was looking out for a break from the normal city life fun... And I took the break before I saw the movie "Life in a.. Metro"!. I went to the ITPL to have coffee at the Barista there. It was the perfect out-of-the-(normal)-world experience!!

It was my second visit to the place (my first time was in 2000-01). It is a concrete garden.. nice and shining and eloquent!! And I should add.. calm and serene.. 'cos there werent too many people around on the saturday.

I did not take a pic of ITPL that day, but here is a link: Check this!
(It seems this guy is from Dell. He also has an interesting collection of landmarks in Bangalore.. check out his 'Bangalore Bliss') (Man... I am enthralled!! Check out his 'Agra - Uttar Pradesh >> Taj Mahal' and other albums)

And about the movie... it is a pretty good movie... With an amazing star cast, and with everyone doing poetical justice to their roles, it is a feast!! I loved KayKay, Konkana & Kangana... And Ms. Shetty... she is so thin and trim!!

The subject is pretty grim, but then,

"Truth sets you free... but before that (setting you free), it pisses you off!!!"

For a complete review, Check this!