Love and Marriage..

For all you guys ready to get married... This is good stuff!!

A relationship coach lays out his 5 golden rules for evaluating the prospects of long-term success. When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50 percent, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding. If you ask most couples who are engaged why they’re getting married, they’ll say: “We’re in love.” I believe this is the #1 mistake people make when they date.
Choosing a life partner should never be based on love (alone). Though this may sound not politically correct, there’s a profound truth here. Love (alone) is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: You can’t build a lifetime relationship on love alone. You need a lot more. Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you’re serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION #1:
Do we share a common life purpose? Why is this so important?
Let me put it this way:
If you’re married for 20 or 30 years, that’s a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful.
You need a common life purpose. Two things can happen in a marriage. You can grow together, or you can grow apart. 50 percent of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life ? bottom line - and marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION #2:
Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?
This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust! i.e. trust that I won’t get “punished” or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION #3:
Is he/she a mensch?
A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person.
How can you test? Here are some suggestions.
i) Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis?
ii) Are they serious about improving themselves?
A teacher of mine defines a good person as “someone who is always striving
to be good and do the right thing”.
“So, ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic?”
Usually, a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.
There are essentially two types of people in the world: People who are dedicated to personal growth and people who are dedicated to seeking comfort.
Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing.
You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION #4:
How does he/she treat other people?
The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give.
By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure. Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed?
To measure this, think about the following:
i) How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc?
ii) How do they treat parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?
Do they show respect? If they don’t have gratitude for the people who have given them everything, you cannot expect that they’ll have gratitude for you ? who can’t do nearly as much for them!
iii) Do they gossip and speak badly about others? Someone who gossips cannot be someone who loves others. You can be sure that someone who treats others poorly will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION #5:
Is there anything I’m hoping to change about this person after we’re married?
Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to “improve” them after they’re married. As a colleague of mine puts it, “You can probably expect someone to change
after marriage … for the worse!”
If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you aren’t ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn’t have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues.

Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don’t want to find yourself in trouble because you didn’t do your homework.

India thro' Chinese eyes - 2

I told you I would get better!!

India Thro' Chinese eyes!!

The first video is shot by a Chinese student at IIM Indore (part of the 2007 students' exchange program at IIMI)... The first half is on India and the second half on IIM Indore. Enjoy!!

PS: My crude attempt at embedding flash videos here... I shall get better!

Pleasures...

Hah!! The pleasures of reading a book.... a goood book at that... and finishing it!! yeah... I finished my book.... but then, dont worry, I would read it again and again and again and keep up the promise of reading it for the next 10 yrs ;-)
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Ready to backpack? I just discovered a group of backpackers in Blore... And they are planning for a trip to Pondicherry on Aug 17th night (Back by 19th night)... Interested?
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1, 2, 3, ....... Does that count?
Yeah! Stand up and be counted!!

Thats kinda the message my friend from IIT days is helping spread among the working class of Hyderabad... He is working with some NGOs... organizations that are working on transforming the grass-roots level politics.

His vision is "To create the demand for efficient and honest politicians". When there is a demand, supply would follow.. The problem is not the lack of supply of honest and efficient politicians... but the demand for it...

He has been touring various places and colleges recently and engaging the working class in conversations... getting them involved in various ways in the mainstream Indian life.. getting them to stand up and be counted.

He has been participating in various forums and public speeches. Sometime, I shall get hold of his speech and post it here...

This is just my 2 paisa in acknowledging his commitment.

Some things and a story...

There have been so many people asking me to marry... the greatest of them are my parents ;-) (well... there are others proposing to me.. but then I'm not talking about them now) even the other day, someone very close to me (and whose opinion I value) told me to 'get into a relationship soon'... But, I tell them... life begins at 30.. let me enjoy my life for a couple of years at least! This is the era of 'Kum Chini and Jyada Umar' what say?!
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As you know, I am reading (and would continue reading it for the next ten years ;) 'The Alchemy of Desire' by Tarun Tejpal. And I have also read the 'God of Small Things' by Arundhati Roy earlier. I definitely like both the books (actually 'liked' the latter, 'cos I dont remember much of it now), but I think the former is making quite an impression on me.

May be, for me, the affectation of the body takes precedence over the genuflections at the altar of the soul. I can understand the language of desire and love better than the language of God and concubine (twins) USP..

I am still far away from writing my comments/review on this one... But, I just want to say....

Having loved and lost is better than not having loved at all.. (Though one does run the risk of turning into the eternal 'safe' devadas) After you overcome the lingering bad taste of lost love, you would realize that love tastes different yet sweet the next time again.

"He and Fiza were so perfect together.. They longed for each other in the most animalistic way... Even an accidental touch could ignite a spark (and the ensuing climb up the peak)... Yet, all of that dissipated... dissolved with the arrival of Catherine... who, BTW, was not even 'real'... she was only in the form of her 'tan leather bound' notebooks..."

Even the search for love is another search for 'neatness' - a perfection that you seem to be lacking yourself... It is that neatness combined with the unknown.. the mystic.. the sensual...... Its all just MAYA!! ;-)

I liked this quote... though I might be quoting it out-of-context...."Monogamy is difficult to sustain without the lubrications of Love"!!

Conquer!!

He Came; He Saw; He Conquered....

Aap Ka Surroor!!

They Came; They Saw; They Ran Away!!!!!!!

The Audience ;-) :P

Bangalore Bloggers...

We have another Blore bloggers meet tomorrow.... at BrewHaHa (Near Jyoti Nivas College, Koramangala) between 11am and 2pm. By the sounds of it, seems like a big event...

Shall let you know if I get there in time...

Hogenakkal - Smokin' Rocks

Took a break from all the humdrum... Went to Hogenakkal with my cousins on saturday. What more, we went coracling, got special oil massages and spent almost 2 hours in the water just metres from the gorgeous smokin' waterfalls (quite safely behind the rocks!).




















Its one of those perfect weekend getaways for people in Bangalore. It is about 175 kms, a distance that can be comfortably covered in 4 hours. The route is Blore - Hosur - Royakotta (deviation at hosur) - Pallankode (right turn within 2 kms of the village) - Pennagaram - Hogenakkal.

Roads are good for most part, except for a 7-10 km stretch. Just call up these guys -- Babu, the Masseur (first from the left) - 9443615072 and Muthu (Second from left) /Chandran (not in pic)- the Coracle guys - 9443637950 ; Arrange your package deal for the getaway!

SMS to support the fight ..

SMS to support the fight against poverty...

"Handbag - 32 Pounds; Food for a week - 4 Pounds"
Text AID to ####; Donate 1.50 Pounds

This is what I was talking about.... It seems this has been implemented in the UK already... Lets have this in India too...

Chini Kum or Jyada?

Hind - Chini bhai bhai

This is a phrase that gained popularity during the Nehruvian era. And then, the Chinese made a fool of Nehru by taking over Indian territories and crushing us in the 1962 war (and after taking over all the territories they wanted, they declared unilateral ceasefire!!)

And then, there has been many instances of the Chini masterful tactics...

Off late, you would have heard about the Chinese stockpiling US government securities to the tune of $200-$400 billion(estimated)... No wonder they have some 'real' power against the US.

With all this, I am sure they are not sitting quietly and applauding the Indian IT & BPO boom.

All this is making me think: what could be their sinister/strategic plan now?

Are they buying our IT stocks??

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BTW, did the Great wall make it to the New 7 wonders?

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Looks like it has... hmm.. Chini too have their share of ... idiots ?!

Vote for the 8th Wonder!!

> > > Hey,
> > >
> > > Vote now for the Taj Mahal to ensure it makes
> it into the New 7 wonders of the World list.
> > >

What all crap these people come up with... New 7 wonders.. And then Ultra New 7 wonders....

I should actually campaign for the new 8th wonder... Now, are you wondering what that is? Its a scheme... a Ponzi-scheme to eradicate poverty.... you send 10 SMSes to vote for Taj... And send one SMS to a hungry child! (better the other way!!) The mobile operator should donate the money to the hungry child.

Vote for the 8th Wonder.. Vote against poverty!!

What say?

Bhaskar

we looovvvvve Rakhi!!

Here is my theory on 'why we love Rakhi'... She portrays one of the worse side of ourselves (she does it so well).. and she does it so self-righteously... I mean.. she believes in what she is doing... atleast it seems so!

And then, on a passing note, let me mention... her assets remind us of the good ol' days of Pam & Anna ;-)

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Whats with Rahul Bose these days??! Man, he is turning 40, it seems... And he's still a worthy bachelor... Thank God for such people!!

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For some news on the iPhone, check my other blog ;-)